Flipping Baseball Cards, Friday Night, Spring 1943

Andrew is such a jerk
teasing me all through supper
saying that flipping baseball cards is a stupid game
that any dope could be good at it
that if he wanted to he could beat me anytime

He teased me so much that he got Dad mad at him
now Dad wants him to play me
I don’t want to play him
I was supposed to play with cousin Michael across the hall
Cousin Michael plays nice and he doesn’t cheat and give me sputzies on top of my head like my brother Andrew

Andrew thinks he’s so smart
He’s twelve and I’m eight – and maybe that’s why he thinks he should beat me
I beat Billie Biff and he’s eleven
I even went around the corner to Sullivan Street and beat Junior and he’s almost twelve
That time I played for my best friend Gene and I won back all the cards he lost to Junior
I’m good at flipping cards

Dad’s splitting my cards and giving half to Andrew
Mom is taking the dishes off the table
I know I could beat Andrew – I feel good
Andrew won’t be able to cheat and bulldoze me with Dad watching
Dad’s waving at me – I should go first
Dad’s eyes are shining – I think he likes me more than Andrew
I know just what to do – I put the card just in the right place between my fingers and thumb –
It feels right – the word side of the card is tails and the side with the ballplayers pictures on it is heads I’m going to flip five heads
when the five cards lay on the kitchen floor the ball players will be looking up at me

I’m swinging my arm back and now forward – letting go of the card
it’s spinning toward the floor – the ballplayer is looking up at me
again and again and again and again – five ballplayers are looking up at me
Dad’s waving at Andrew to go – Andrew will have to flip five heads to win
if he flips one tail he’ll lose five cards
I could tell he’s scared – I know he doesn’t think he will flip five heads

He’s holding the card all wrong – He’s holding the card where his fingers and thumb bend
no good it’s too tight – even I know that and I’m eight
He’s doing just what Billy Biff did when I beat him –
Holding the card too tight will make it bounce around on the floor and not lay flat right away
His first card is falling – it’s a head – lucky—
there’s his second card bouncing on the floor – tails – he loses – I knew it
It’s hard to match cards when they are all the same even if they’re all tails – you can’t make one mistake
Andrew just finished his turn – three heads and two tails laying on the floor
I know he wanted to flip five heads or five tails but he’s not as good as I am
I know I could make two mistakes and still match him
I’m feeling good now – I know I’ll beat him –
I’m getting even for all the times he cheats and gives me sputzies on my head
I’ll fix him good

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I’m in bed now and it’s dark
I beat Andrew so bad – he didn’t win one game
He even made excuses to Dad – Saying that I was the right height for the game and it was easy for me to flip the cards the way I wanted to
Dad had me stand on the step between the kitchen and the living room and I still won all the games

I feel bad for Andrew now
We’re in the same bed and his back is to me
He’s not talking to me like he always does – I think his feelings are hurt
He’s not such a bad guy
In a lot of ways he’s good to me
He stops the bigger kids from picking on me
two weeks ago he took me to the Museum of Natural History – He even paid for the subway
and last Saturday night he read to me from the small fat book about John Dillinger – we laughed together about John Dillinger’s wooden gun and how he used it to break out of jail –

I felt so good beating him but now I’m not feeling so good
Maybe getting even is not so much fun after all
maybe getting even is a game itself
I’m tired now
maybe that’s for bigger people to think about